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There was gay porn on my mans computer...

I have been with my boyfriend for three years now. We live together and have been very happy. However, I recently found gay porn saved on our PC at home – and now everything has changed for me.

I had intended to spend the rest of my life with the man I love but now everything has changed and I'm not quite sure about.

We have discussed it and he told me that he was curious about the gay porn, and it didn't mean anything. He says he loves me and wants to be with me for the rest of my life. However, I'm worried.

I'm certain he wouldn't be unfaithful nor lie – but I just don't know how I should feel about this. Angry, upset or just nothing much?

I don't really understand why a straight man felt the need to look at gay men – especially a man who is in a loving relationship – and an active loving relationship.

We have lots of friends, we go out and have a great time – things have been good but this just shocked me.

He says he doesn't want to be with a man, and he says he's not gay. What am I supposed to think?

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Comments

Spoken Truth,

its natural for a person, whether they are male or female, to be curious at some point in time. Like he said, it probably didn't mean anything. Trust your man. If you have doubts then speak with him about it. Let him know that you still have mixed feelings about the whole situation. A lot of people automatically think that their man is gay or having a relationship with another man just because they were curious at one point. It seems like he dealt with his curiosity through watching the porn, so I'm sure you have nothing to worry about.

2008-10-03 08:07:28

I would be careful..,

It is one thing to look at it because you are curious another to have it saved on your computer so you can constantly watch it because you enjoy it. I would watch my step with him..

2008-10-03 08:26:18

Truth,

Yes it is one thing to save it but we are forgetting they live together and may just maybe he said to hisslef if I say anything to her she will think i'm gay or feel some type of way about it let me save it watch it when i know she is not going to be home and see what this man on man shit is really about i have a few friends that are in happy relationships and they never saw gay porn and when i say gay porn i mean us man on man girl on girl is no gay to str8 men it's heaven and they watched and after they said to me they could understand now but they couldn't do it did that make them gay no curious is just that girl just be upfront with your man because if he is the one that you want

2008-10-03 09:11:47

Truth ,

to spent your years with that trust and communcation is going to be the key to a happy marriage. If you don't have that you won't last sweetie. So talk to him about you doubts and be up front and then leave it alone because holding shit is like raw eggs.

2008-10-03 09:18:52

That sounds like alot of thinking about something that is pretty simple.He was watching gay porn, saved it on your computer and has been watching it enjoying it, and you had no clue. That is like saying yes he robbed a bank but he had all these reasons why he did it.The point is he robbed a bank,or in this case,watches and enjoys gay porn.When I say you have to watch out for him I mean,if someone can deceive you like that or lie about something small like that you have to be careful. Don't just brush it under the rug. If you guys are going to be married you have to get all this stuff out in the open. Luckily you found this out before you were married.You wanna stay, then stay just be careful

2008-10-03 09:50:35

@ Truth,

sounds like you are speaking from personal experience.

2008-10-03 09:51:15

Truth,

Yea I am expect it was my best friend and best female friend their relationship ended because something just like this. He watched all types of porn and becuase I knew him before her he was gay and that was far from the truth he just like to watch and he told my homegirl when she brought it up. to make long story short he's married and has three kids and everytime we are together she says something and the rest of my friends and family tell her honey let it go you fucked up. I would know if he was dl bi etc our relationship is more than friends we are brothers and she couldn't get that but she was right to feel that way but wrong to assume

2008-10-03 10:23:32

A if he saved it on the computer he would have to know she would see it
B deceiving or lie would be a hard thing to call this because he a would have denied it all together and blamed it on someone or something else
C if you robbed a bank because you had no other choice or you thought you had no choice i couldn't fault you i could say you were wrong now this is what we have to do to fix it Now its his computer too and he has the right to save whatever clearly he didn't tell her because she would act just like this they have spoken and she is still having issues and insted of talking to him about her feeling again she posted to us so.....i'm sorry but trust and communcation still rings!

2008-10-03 11:00:46

WHATEVER!!!

Like the other person said... Watch that man.

2008-10-03 12:38:12

tracylee,

suspect...watch his ass

2008-10-03 14:34:26

sexiladi25,

I think he stumbled upon it on the internet and got curious then everyday found himself on the same website until eventually he saved it and watches it daily. He is curious but that does not mean that he is participating in homosexual acts. Curiosity is human nature, now when or if he acts on his curiosity, that is the problem!

2008-11-03 12:52:17

?????,

well since the cats out of the bag yuh shud take in the warning signs b4 yuh get hurt...or ummm wats dat werd get aids...duhhhh

2008-11-05 11:05:49

dollface @ ??????,

I agree, don't get hurt in the long run babygirl, the proof is in the puddin. I mean it is SAVED to your computer, hello!!! Wake up miss, ur man is one "curious" gay man.

Real talk.

2008-11-09 19:53:35

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There was gay porn on my mans computer...