Knockout sex

This is my confession...

My bestfriend Sheila and I have been friend since the 7th grade.  We have gone through a lot of shit together.   I was the more calm one and she was wild as fuck.  She got pregnant at 16, 19, 22, and 23.  I went to college and got it all yet I have nothing.  I feel like shit.

Sheila has three children by the same man, the baby at 16 was just a mistake (well not planned).  Anyways, her children's father was heavy into the drug selling scene and Sheila turned his ass around, got married and joined my church and found God.

But, like most folk who are more holy than thou, she lives for the church.  She goes 5 out of 7 days a week.  She'll call in to work just to go minister.  She helped her children's father out of the gutter and into a computer science degree and good job.  She preaches to the congregation and sings in the choir.  She doesn't let her children do any of the things we were able to do, no music etc. 

Anyways, I don't have any chidlren and I've only dated white men, they are good to me but don't want to marry me.  I have been feeling jealous of my bestfriend lately.  Her life was going so good until her 2 year old son was diagnosed with cancer.  He died 7mo. ago.  She was in so much grief and couldn't get out of bed until 3mo. ago.  During that time, I cooked and cleaned and took the babies to school.  I did everything.  I held her in her time of need, we prayed together, and cried together. I did everything, I even...

slept with her husband.  I am so sorry... It just happened.   I was doing everything and one day I walked into the kitchen, while her husband was cooking and I...I took out some wine and I got him drunk and put some of the vicodin my friend was taking in his mashed potatoes and I seduced him.  

I've done it a few times and he's always sounds and acts in a fog.  I dress him before he wakes up completely.  When he is out, I suck his dick and try to get it in my pussy.  I give him a prescription drug that makes it stand up.  I'm a nurse.  I feel so bad and I promised I would never do it again, when he woke up with a headache 18hrs. later this last time.     But, it is so good and I wonder what it will be like with him awake, I have never been with a black man and it is good.  I am white and my friend is black.