i've been doing something for the past 3 months that i feel that i cannot share with anyone. a few months ago i feel into depression after a break up with my bf, i'm a pretty black woman and accepted the fact that he cheated on me and was willing to stay with him, , but he decided to let me go. that was a 10 yr relationship...gone just like that. after that i fell into a deep depression, i stayed home and way from friends and family and created my own world in my home.

3 months ago i don't know what came over me i just crossed the line. i was constipated for 2 days and i finally was able to move my bowels. it felt so good once i emptied my stomach, when i looked in the toilet bowl i saw the most beautiful piece of feces i've ever seen in my life. and i felt so drawn to it. i didn't feel as though i could flush it. so i took a freezer ziploc bag and put the feces in my freezer. the whole day i couldn't believe that i had done and was amazed with the taboo i had in my freezer. around 3am that morning i was massaging my clit and thought about the feces i had in the freezer. it was hard and cold by that time and i put a condom over one end and handled the other end with the ziploc still over it. i pleasured myself with a piece of feces. i'd like to think that i pleasure myself....with myself. i came over and over again. the feces feel apart when i was done and i wasn't able to salvage any of it. i've made more fecal dildo's since then. but i'm not sure i can share this with anyone.